How do you get what you want?

There’s a very funny bit in the audio version of “Unlimited Power” by Tony Robbins where he talks about goals. He says that when you ask most people what they want they say (he uses a funny voice), “I dunno?!?”. He goes on to make the point that if you aren’t clear about what you want you are unlikely to get it.

It’s hard to make yourself define what you really want

This seems so incredibly obvious, but when I sit down and really think about what it is I really want I find it a very difficult thing to do. I don’t think I am that different from most people, so you probably find the same thing. Stating what I think I want out loud is a very uncomfortable experience. Writing down what I want makes it even harder. If you are like me and most people that I speak to about this, then you will have similar feelings.

Do we really believe it’s possible to achieve?

It is usually easy to think about big houses, fancy cars, exotic holidays and so on, but when we actually try to list what we really want our lack of self belief can trip us up. Most people don’t seem to believe that obtaining the things they really want is possible, so they feel uncomfortable thinking, talking or writing about it.

Tell people who are already successful

We need to become comfortable with the idea that what we want is realistic. If you were to talk to a very successful person about what you want to achieve they would say, “Great, what’s your first step going to be?”.

Unfortunately for us, the people we usually tell (if we tell anyone) are not successful and they can’t see how it would be possible at all. So they tell us it’s unrealistic and probably laugh too. Two things at work here: they have no idea how you might go about achieving your goals so they are less than no help, plus imagine their feeling of horror if you actually did it!

Action plan

Sit down and think about what you want to achieve and by when. Write this down. Sit quietly and picture achieving your goals. Think about what it will mean to you and imagine how it will feel. Now work out a plan to achieve it – maybe imagine you have already achieved your goals and think about what you did to get there if it helps. Write it down. The main thing is to have some actions to take, starting immediately.

Later on we’ll talk about who you can tell (this person is often known as a mentor – it will probably be someone who is already successful and will provide you with the extra belief that will help to get you there).

Did you do the exercise?

You may not actually do this exercise, and you could give many different reasons why not. One of them might be that it seems too easy and if it is that easy then everyone would do it. The problem is that it isn’t easy, because thinking is really hard work. You may also feel uncomfortable about the things that you want. Welcome the discomfort – it means you are stretching yourself and it won’t last. You will soon feel comfortable about the goals you have set for yourself and you will be on your way to achieving them.

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